I've never enjoyed cardio anything. I tried running once or twice. People who do it make it look all extra easy, running and chatting the whole way about coupons and their fabulous lives with their friends. TALKING. While they run. My adventures with running generally ended up with my trying to pry the cap off a fire hydrant with my bare hands because I was convinced that my lungs were literally on fire and I was going to burn to death. Either I don't breathe right, of I have tiny lungs inside my huge rib cage or I'm just a lazy sad sack who didn't try hard enough. I'm going with number one, Bob.
So I did Turbo Jam- Cardio Party last night. 45 minutes of jumping, kicking, and punching with Chalene, the bubbly, smiling, 3% body fat cheerleader. It definitely put the work in workout. I made it all the way through the video, which I don't think I've ever done before, so yay me for that. Although maybe 1/4 of the time was me standing there going, "what the f**k are you doing now??". The video moves VERY fast, and they do a lot of crazy combos that I can't remember. Speedbag, uppercut, 4 fast cross-punches, front knee, back kick, two front kicks, back kick, side squat, other side squat, side kick, other side kick and start over. I generally lost it after speedbag. You have to have your balance or you are lost. It goes very fast which isn't great for me because then I lose my form. My knees started hurting from all the kicking because it was SO FAST. The video also annoys me because all of the people in the video are TurboJam instructors who smile the whole time and kick over their heads and don't sweat or drink water. I Hate Them. So what if super-hot Anna-Rita in the back lost 75 pounds. Show me fat Anna-Rita puffing and struggling through the damn kicks like I am. I may stick with the 20 minute Turbo Jam for a while and pair it with something else.
I always do more stretching than the cool-down because they don't hold stretches long enough for me to feel them. So I usually watch the special features while I stretch. Last night it was "Meet the Cardio-Party Cast!" because everything Chalene says ends with an !!!!. Every one of them was like, "Oh, I'm a former Laker Girl Cheerleader and I'm addicted to Turbo Jam!" or "I lost 40 pounds and now I'm addicted to Turbo Jam!" They all can't get enough of Turbo Jam so they are instructors. And they are addicted. I have a theory that Chalene puts angel dust in the water. Or speed. No one in their right mind should be addicted to Turbo Jam.
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